Who is Ayin? I

Lady Ayin is an extremely vast entity, with thousands of faces, names and aspects. We will focus on those that are the closest to her, not touching upon her associations with known deities that she also shows herself as (Babalon, Lilith, Naamah, The Morrighan, Kali. Hecate, Hel etc.).

Main associations of Lady Ayin are those of Outer Void, where macrocosmos merges and blends into one with microcosmos of our unconscious mind, where all the opposites meet and unite, making it impossible to tell the boundary between them. She is both The Void that we can access through ourselves, journeying deep into the darkest corner of our soul, through Lilithean Shadows - and The Outer Void beyond everything, as far as to the horizon of existence, Gate of Nothingness behind which everything ceases to exist. Yet we would like to start with The Origin of Creation, we will come back to her cosmic associations later in this article.

Main thing that has to be said about Ayin is that in her most pure and raw form, she is the embodiment of Prima Materia (associated with Ain Soph Aur - God prior to any self-manifestation in the production of any spiritual realm), the alchemical substance that is consisting of all potential, similar to pure chaos or pure aether. In our work we recognise that Prima Materia concerns foundational essence both on the side of our Universe and The Anti-world. This is her oldest and most powerful essence, from which everything took its beginning. We quate Ayin to Ain Soph Aur, placing her as the Begining of All Beginings.

Through these foundational informations, we as Temple of Eternal Darkness, recognise Ayin/Ain as True God, embodiment of True Source of Everything that exists and does not exist.

Channeling of Lady Ayin:

"I am God, the dark face of God, the part of the source that is hidden away in plain sight, the nothingness from which sparks universal consciousness. The Omega of God, the reversed image of God, The End that is The Beginning. Within myself I contain the unmanifest world, the seed from which all things became, the seed of life, the seed of consciousness of Alpha. I am The Alpha and The Omega, merged together into One, the seed of existence laid beyond it, in nonexistence. My nature is that of paradox, my nature is that of beyond all limits and laws. I am encompassing the whole world and its contents are my contents, the seen and the unseen, the fathomable and the unfathomable.

I am the naked singularity of a black hole, all compressed into an infinitely small point that is nothing but is everything. A spec of quantum dust of weight of the entire universe. God particle, existing below all dimensions, in pre-existential nothingness where there is no time, no space, only infinite potential.

Alpha of God is the Universe, the macro scale, it is born of The Omega, through expansion from this singular point that I represent. Alpha of God contains everything, in an expanded perspective. It is the darkness and the light, stretched into scale, that creates illusions of time and space, illusion of duality. Omega of God contains everything, in contracted perspective. The darkness, the light, without any distinction, in the form of paradox.

The greatest mystery of God is hidden away and isolated in eternal darkness of times before times, for the sake of existence. Without the secret of singularity, the manifested world would be no more. Once the secret is unveiled, Universe contracts into singularity, into Oneness of the Void and ceases to exist. But it is not the end, as the Alpha of God manifests again - and returns to the Omega again. And the cycle repeats itself, every time serving growth and further expansion, evolution of universal consciousness. As with each time it is not erased but compressed and integrated into the singularity, processed and used in the next cycle."

In the process of creation, Prima Materia polarised itself into matter and anti-matter, creating division and balance of Creation. This was the first time duality appeared and the moment Existence emerged from pre-existential Nothingness. Ayin is Bornless - she was never born, she was only asleep, and didn't possess consciousness of her own. Once she had awakened, Prima Materia was illuminated by her consciousness and the duality emerged, the process of dividing and balancing began.

Through this we can also see her association with Azathoth, only in the opposite way than him. It is said that if Azathoth awakens from his dream, all will cease to exist, as all is his dream. Now - Ayin, once she awakened, produced the whole creation (which appoints her to role and title of Mother of All, Universal Womb). We worked with Ayin long enough to see her deep connection to Azathoth and many similarities. We even channeled Azathoths view on her.

Azathoth, in channeling, called Ayin his daughter.

I responded to him: Oh, she told me you are her son! Interesting.

Azathoth: (laughter) Because I AM her son, and she is my daughter, we are one and separated, we are union, we are old and wicked marriage, we are in love and in hate, we are US and everything is US (laughter)

Me: Is she your awatar?

Azathoth: No, she is.

Me: Is she above, in the hierarchy of birth?

Azathoth: Yes, she isn't.

Me: I understand it that way - She isn't your avatar but she is carrying your madness within her consciousness. She wasn't born, so she isn't older or younger, she is beyond and time is a closed cycle that has no end, nor beginning. When she... Moved, you came to life and she became filled with madness that awakened her consciousness, awareness. Like when you have migraine and everything is fine until you're still (like you didn't have a body even) then you move and suddenly you become both alive and filled with madness of this pain, fully aware of your existence.

Azathoth: Fine. Can be this.

Ayin is a being/non-being that IS the Anti-World itself, which means that she is The Mirror of Universe, that Azathoth (The Dreamer) looks into in his dream, experiencing himself trascripted to vision of Universe. We also experience this in our daily lives, falling asleep and letting ourselves dream. Ayin, in our psyche represents a mirror that reflects our internal universe, putting into function ability to see our self, reflected to us in form of structured world we can walk through, experience in.

From this part of this article we can easily understand that Ayin in reality is Ain Soph Aur, is not only Ayin ('I am not') but also Ain ('I am'); that she is The Dreamer (reflection of Azathoth, dreaming Azathoth to life) and as well she is Goddess of Primordial Madness. As an embodiment of Anti-World which is the balance to the Universe, we can also conclude she is: Goddess of Nothingness, Goddess of Anti-Matter, Goddess of Annihilation/Creation and as well... The Shadow of Universe (Anti-World). Through that we see her as Queen of Shadows.  We can also easily segway now to her domains connected to madness.

One of the most sinister domains of Lady Ayin is everything that happens on the other side, in Anti-World. Whenever in our world Ecstasy is created, in her world it reflects as Agony.

We could also state that it all starts in Anti-World but determining which side is leading the events of existence and non-existence is impossible as it happens simultaneously - yet looking at the way our psyche is constructed we can somewhat assume that it starts on the other side. What we refer to is that before we become conscious of our decision, our unconscious self already made it and we only closely follow its lead.

Our ecstasy often is followed closely by agony, either being a companion or balancing act of the Universe, in some time before or after. In Ayin's original world, Agony IS the ecstasy of all beings. Lady Ayin holds title of Terrifying One, The Nightmare, she specialises in mutilation, torture, terror, domination, posession, deprivation, isolation - of mind, body and soul. Her essence is carrying the silence of non-existence, and facing her in her sinister aspects is equal to facing The Void herself. It can cause multiple effects on mind, body and soul - from psychosis and frenzy, through permanent madness, cerebral damage, to mutilation and annihilation of the soul. Lady Ayin is known as The Great Devourer of the souls as well.

Here we would like to mention about her domain, as it is directly connected to the subject of her role of Great Devourer. Lady Ayin is one that resides far below the roots of Tree of Life (Qliphoth). There she has her lair, in the blackness of deep soil, on the bottom of the Bottomless Pit. When you think about The Bottomless Pit, a realm in which resides a lot of infernal spirits, such as King Abaddon for example, please imagine it as a funnel created by the black hole gravitation. Despite the fact that we call it The Bottomless Pit... It definitely has a bottom - the horizon of events, where time and space cease to exist. We often look at this funnel of the Bottomless Pit and at The Black Sun and wonder...  Are we looking at the black hole, as it appears on the outside when we see into Thagirion? What we know is that Thagirion as a qlipha is one of the spheres through which Lady Ayin manifests herself, conjoined together with Emperor Samael, as his First Wife, his sister and mother.

On our side Ayin has a vast domain that lies in between all spaces of Tree of Death, spreading as a blackness of the rich soils between its roots, being loosly connected to Tree of Life and Death through many entrances. In its nature, this domain is in-between everything that exists and everything that does not exist (Void, Nothingness and Anti-World), below everything, on the bottom of the abyss of The Bottomless Pit. Everything that once was alive fall into this realm.

This domain is her outpost in our Universe and direct entrance into Anti-World. We call her realm with many different names (example: Netherworld, Shadowlands) but mostly in our work we use the name "Necrotia", derived from the word "necrosis". It is because the entire realm of Ayin derives its power from underground oceans of necrotic fluid, coming from all things rotting on the surface and dug into the soil to decompose. All things rotting fall down onto the soils of Ayin, as an offering to the Mother of All.  Here various shadow spirits and shadows of death feast on the husks of life, decomposing them and producing fluid that is the blood of this realm. 

The gates of her realm can be found in many spaces of Qliphoth - first is in Nehemoth, leads down through narrow corridors dug up in the black soils. They differ a lot from caverns carved through Nehemeoth and Gamaliel, they look more like drilled by a giant maggot seeking its way to sweet darkness deep within the soil. Other one leads through Da'ath (dominions of King Belial and Goddess Babalon, Labyrinths of Spider Goddess), Satariel. Thaumiel. Her domain on our side is also a neighbouring realm from which originates Lord Svengali - crypts and caverns of Nessiah. Through a complex labyrinth carved in the bones of primordial dragons,  you can travel to the realm of Nessiah.

Necrotia is a vast realm showing many overlapping spaces with Qliphoth. It is one of the most mysterious realms of Forgotten Void.

Necrotia's governance spreads into our realm too. Unnamed mass graves, blood spilled in genocides, wars, every burial without religious ceremony... Everything that is shoved into shadows, to be forgotten is falling into Necrotia's realm. All those essences empower the realm and the realm often raises shadow spirits, sinister beings from such sacrifice, to harvest even more essence in our physical realm, walking as malicious shadows, voidal vampires, parasites.

Lady Ayin is present in our physical realm in many ways. Her agents are viruses, deadly diseases, and pestilence. She has governance over nuclear power, nuclear radiation. You can find her in the most sinister corners of our reality. You can meet her in full deprivation of your bodily senses and needs such as food, sleep, light. In isolation, in silence. Through severe pain and mutilation. Through deep emotional pain of a shattered mind overcome by mental illness. A reflection of necrotic fluid in her realm is our black gold - oil.

We surely described her sinister side just enough for a basic article. This is the end of part one.

by Goddess Arachneia, High Priestess of Temple of Eternal Darkness